Have you ever taken the time to make a list of what you see as your role in the world and the associated obligations and time commitments that go with them? I did just that the other day and I have to say it was an interesting exercise. Interesting and enlightening at the same time.
Here’s what I came up with in the exact order I came up with it:
|Role||Daily Time Commitment|
|Monday – Friday Day Job||8-10 Hours (sometimes 12 hours)|
|PTSO Board Member||Less than 1 hour|
|Girl Scout Troop Leader||Less than 1 hour|
|Student||Approximately 2 hours|
The frustrating thing here is that I identify myself to other people as a writer, but when I look at what my subconscious thinks – writer is the last thing I see myself as. To be fair the day job supports my role as mother and wife – but the rest of my roles with much smaller time commitments managed to land higher on the list from my self proclaimed vocation.
AND … and I can’t even say what kind of time I’m committing to the act of writing.
I know that I spend a few hours a week on my blog – posts like this one, and perhaps an hour here or there (more often then not less than that) on my current work in progress, but that maybe averages to an hour a day. Which – if you know the law of averages – really means that I’m maybe writing and then maybe not writing.
BIG maybes. (You can’t trust averages no matter how far you can throw them).
If G.I. Joe taught me anything it’s the more I know should result in something being better, different, something. So now I know how I actually see myself.
How do you wrestle your subconscious into submission?
I’ve tried setting writing goals (Thoughts and Reflections for the New Year) and as we come to the close of quarter two for 2019 I’m feeling very far behind. I haven’t nailed a single one of them.
How to be held accountable? How to be the writer I state I am? How to make the follow through be the priority?
Maybe the real secret isn’t trying to force a square peg into a round hole, but instead to accept who we identify as, and identify the ways that align with the information gathered.
Like I said before, G.I. Joe taught me that it’s the more you know.
And now I know.
Now to decide what to do with that knowledge.