Time has been flying by at the rate of many funs per second. Although, to be fair, I can’t say I’ve been having much fun.
I haven’t not been having fun either, however. It’s just been very very busy.
Finishing classes for one semester and starting the next one. Running kids from one activity to the next. Scheduling appointments. Scheduling follow up appointments. Finishing the final tasks on my task list in the last few weeks of work.
The countdown is on. And that makes the next phase that much more real. I will really be self-employed in 8 days. Gainfully or otherwise it will happen very soon.
There is a thrum of excitement that sets in when something new is coming. A deep internal vibration that hums with activity at the very core of my being. There’s a tinge of fear setting in too, because once it’s real then it’s real. There’s not really any turning back at this point.
I have to just take a deep breath, and dive into the unknown.
Possibly the questions at work are adding to the nerves. That “you know this is stupid, what will you do if you fail” that is hidden under the comments of things like, “Oh wow, that’s really brave, I could never do that.”
It isn’t meant in a mean way. Most people see this as a crazy step. And maybe it is stupid. But (ready for some repetition?) I can’t let fear of failure hold me back.
Plus … if I don’t do this, what will I do with all of the research I’ve been gathering?
And how can I be okay with giving up before I even find out what I am capable of?
So here’s to 8 more days before big new change takes place.
Here’s to amazing opportunities.
Here’s to bringing dreams into reality.
And here’s to many more funs.